Well, it certainly does what it says on the tin. I don’t really need to give you an introduction to what “Euro Truck Simulator 2” is. You start out as a lowly truck driver, you build your way up the ranks doing jobs for cash, carrying cargo around Europe, and…….well…..yeah you try not to crash but it happens eventually. I got a speeding fine at one point, it was almost as exciting as receiving a speeding ticket in real life (because being locked in a Speed Awareness Course amongst a group of 29 other surly West Midlanders as a result was incredible if I’m honest)

The reason why I’m choosing to review this game is the large amount of praise that it had before I’d actually gotten my hands on it. SCS Software’s infamous title had been recommended to me by many a friend but I was just unable to see the appeal. “What is there to do in the game?” I asked (stupid question of the century award goes to me). “Drive trucks” they would reply, and that was it. That was the appeal of the game. I refused to believe that my friends, the people who I knew and loved, would resign themselves to their homes to sit and pretend to drive a truck all evening (after driving home from work in their real life car for real).

You know that thing that EVERYONE has done at least once in Grand Theft Auto, where you try to drive correctly. You’ll follow the speed limit, obey the lights, and follow your lanes like you’re supposed to. Yeah imagine paying $40 to be able to do that, that’s what this game is. We all know how long that lasted, no longer than a minute later we’d be shooting an uzi into the face of a Yakuza gang member and we’d have completely forgotten all about our endeavour into the world of PRETENDING THAT YOU’RE OUT IN THE REAL WORLD IN A VIDEO GAME THAT YOU’RE PLAYING IN THE REAL WORLD.

At least with Goat Simulator there was humour behind it, it was a joke. This, I just don’t get it. It does the whole truck driving shtick to perfection, the graphics are actually rather pleasing to the eye, and it seems as though there is some kind of depth to be found with this game (especially with the plethora of modding options available online), but at the end of the day, this game is about driving a truck. Maybe for some, it’s great, but I personally prefer the escapism that comes with running from demons or being someone that women find physically attractive that only a video game can offer. All I can really say is, when you purchase this game, you know what you’re getting. Don’t trick yourself into thinking there are fireworks anywhere to be found in this game, you drive a truck.

I’m more upset that the game wasn’t called Euro Truck Simulator 2: Get Trucked! That would’ve brought me a giggle or two.

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